The Myth of the ‘Crazy Cat Lady’

I’ve been thinking a lot about cat people and dog people lately. I started a new job, and meeting new people can be tricky for a cat person, as it’s all too easy to be labeled the “crazy cat lady” when you’re surrounded by a pack of dog lovers — particularly if they are lovers of big dogs. In my experience, people who like small dogs usually like both dogs and cats; the real dog people* are those who like their dogs ranging in the big to behemoth size, and they generally hate both cats and small dogs.

So, quickly picking up that I was among dog lovers and even some actual cat haters at my new workplace, I kept quiet about my feline affection. Then the day came, during a staff meeting, when everyone was talking about their dogs. I continued to doodle pretty little flowers on my notepad, trying to blend in with the furniture, much like I do when the discussion turns to sports, which I loathe. And then, it seemed as though everyone’s head turned toward me at the same time, eyes probing as the pack leader barked, “Do you have a dog?”

“No,” I mewled sheepishly. “I’m more of a cat person, although I am very fond of several of my friends’ dogs.”

“Oh. How many cats do you have?”

There it is. The question I dread. Really, now, why do dog people always ask cat people how many cats they have? It’s like they’re looking for reasons to harass us. I never ask dog people, “How many dogs do you have?” And why do dog people always insist on having this discussion in groups? One-on-one, I can defend myself and my feline fondness perfectly well against a smelly old dog person, but they always get together and corner the cat person.

“Three,” I responded, and then I said in unison with the pack leader, “Yep, crazy cat lady,” adding a dry, sarcastic “ha ha” at the end.

Yes, I have three fluffy cats whom I adore, and that apparently makes me a crazy cat lady. But I’ve always wondered why.

The old man across the street from me has three dogs. I have a delightful friend who has three pugs. I know other people who have two, three, four dogs. But you never hear people who live with multiple dogs called “deranged dog people.”

Yes, I know the stories about the senile old bats who horde cats, but hording is a psychological condition, a mental illness, and if not cats, they’d be hording something else equally bizarre. In fact, they frequently horde both cats and dogs. Three cats is by no means hording, and there’s no way that one more cat is coming to live with me. Litter-box duty for three cats is painful enough.

The litter box is always a topic that dog people bring up as a reason they don’t like cats: Cats use a box that you have to scoop; dogs just crap outside. Well, doggie adorers, don’t you have to scoop the poop in your yards? Because if you don’t scoop the poop in your yard, I’m here to tell you that doggie-doo baking in 100-degree weather transforms your backyard into a stockyard. And then there’s the imminent danger of stepping in a pile any time you walk around your yard, whereas I can freely roam my yard without the fear of a poo-covered shoe.

I realize that dog people are generally extroverts and social butterflies, and they want their pets to be the same way. Cats tend to be introverted, but consider, too, that cat people tend to be introverts. Yes, your dog loves to be the life of the party, while most cats don’t like loud, noisy environments and huge groups of people. But neither do I, so that works out well for us. Furthermore, I like co-existing with an animal rather than it needing my constant attention. In fact, that would annoy me. Which is also why I don’t have children.

I don’t need an animal to automatically love me, either. In fact, I rather like it when they make you earn their trust and respect, much like cats do. Small dogs are often this way, too. For example, Chihuahuas are usually very picky about the people they like. I think cat people tend to have more of a friendship with their pets rather than a master–servant relationship.

My wish for the New Year is for dog people to become more open-minded and release the notion of the “crazy cat lady” just because they hate (or are they afraid of?) cats. There’s no reason we can’t all get along and live harmoniously. Just not in the same house, thank you.

* For the purposes of this post, “dog person” refers to those who like big dogs. Small-dog lovers should feel free to consider themselves cat people here, as they are often the targets of big-dog lovers, too.