Of Exhibitionists and Voyeurs

Every few months Internet users are up in arms about their privacy on Facebook and social networking sites, and it happened again last week. Now, because of recent Facebook privacy issues, a group of people is pissed off and wants others to ditch Facebook on May 31. It was the same way when MySpace was the dominant social networking site. Social media fans want privacy, and they become distraught and angry when they find out they’re not getting it.

But the problem isn’t that Facebook and other social media sites don’t provide enough privacy. The problem is that people expect privacy on the Internet because they don’t want to take responsibility for what they post on websites.

It’s time to stop bashing online networking sites and reconsider what you’re posting on Facebook, Twitter and other sites. The Internet is not inherently secure — never has been. Only through the genius of software and technology engineers do we have (mostly) secure sites where we can shop without the pervasive fear of having our credit card numbers or identities stolen. And even now, nothing’s 100 percent secure on the Internet.

Banks and online stores have had to invest money to make and keep their sites secure, and federal and international mandates and regulations are in place to protect online consumers and banking customers. These businesses obtain a return on their investment in security by gaining customers who know their sites can be trusted.

But social media is free. You’re not a customer of Facebook or Twitter; you’re a user. You can’t expect these sites to put much money into protecting your privacy when you’re using their services for free. And the bottom line is, no one is forcing you to use social networking sites. It’s your choice.

The very nature of the Internet is exhibitionist. You wouldn’t take off your clothes in a bar if you didn’t want people to look, and you wouldn’t post on social networking sites, blogs or message boards if you didn’t want people to read it. Now, think how absurd it would be if you stripped in a bar full of people and said that only a certain group could watch. It’s the same way with the Internet. You can try to dictate who watches you strip, but everyone is going to peek. This is because while one part of every one of us is an exhibitionist to some degree, another part of every one of us is a voyeur to some degree.

People think they can demand privacy on the Internet because they are using the Internet in the privacy of their homes. But rather than thinking of the Internet as something as private as your home, you must think of it as something very public and unsecure that you are allowing inside your home.

Nothing is completely secure over the Internet, and hackers prove that every day. As an Internet application, e-mail isn’t secure, either, which is why many years ago I made a rule for myself that I have always followed: Never send something over e-mail that I wouldn’t want everyone in the world to read. If you’d be utterly humiliated to discover that your mother or your boss read any of your e-mails, then perhaps you should think twice before sending them. Some things really are better said over the telephone. The written word has a way of sticking around, even after you’ve deleted the message or post.

When I started using social media, I made the same rule: Never post something that I wouldn’t want the world, my mother and my boss to read. To add a layer of protection against discriminating HR departments when I’m job-hunting, I also use a pseudonym for my social media activity, as some people might hold my opinions against me. My friends know who I am, but none of my social media activity is revealed if you Google my real name. Also, there are just some people whom I never care to talk to again, so I’m not going to make it easy for them to find me.

Furthermore, rather than piss and moan about how unsecure social networking sites are, I set my profiles so that they allow anyone access to my info. Sound stupid? Not if you’re careful about what personal information you post. Why should I post my telephone number or address on my Facebook profile when my friends and family already have them? I don’t post any information that I would be upset if a stalker found. The e-mail address I post is used for social media only, and any interests or personal information that I post are things that I don’t care who knows about me.

So, rather than bitching about the privacy and security of social networking sites, we all need to take responsibility for our own actions. If you use your real name on social networking sites, then you must exert some caution when posting on those sites. If you want to post your honest opinions and thoughts on the Internet, go for it, but be conservative with the personal information you divulge.