14 December 2008

This Could Happen to You

I’m going to start off by saying that if anyone has had sexual relations with Allen J. Moore, the man in the orange jumpsuit pictured at left, please, please go to your doctor or Nebraska AIDS Project for an HIV test.

That said, I’ll now tell you why. It’s a sad, infuriating, horrible story, indeed.

Moore, 48, enjoys having sex with high-school boys, and he does not disclose that he is HIV positive. Although it went unreported in the local news until today’s Omaha World-Herald, where it made the front page, this story came to light in May, when a 17-year-old boy who had engaged in consensual, unprotected sex with Moore told his story to an Omaha police officer at his high school. The boy told the police officer that he had contracted HIV and gonorrhea from Moore and that Moore had not informed him that he was HIV positive.

Omaha police decided to question Moore and went to his home. Moore answered the door naked. During questioning, a 16-year-old boy entered the room from the bedroom. Understand that Nebraska’s age of consent for sex is 16, so Moore did not commit statutory rape. However, when the police detective asked the boy, “Did he tell you he was HIV positive?” the boy said that Moore had not. (So far, the boy has tested negative for HIV.)

Police then arrested Moore. But for what? Unlike 31 other states, Nebraska does not have a law that requires HIV-positive people to inform sexual partners that they have the virus.

Moore claims that he was molested as a child, and he admitted to police that he has been attracted to children. He also told authorities that he contracted HIV in 2004, he has had numerous sexual partners — both male and female — and he has been a prostitute. He also told police that he discloses his HIV status to “lovers,” but not to one-night-stands, although he claims he always uses protection with one-night-stands.

However, both the 17- and 16-year-old boys told police that Moore never disclosed his HIV status to them, and they said that Moore has had sex with other teenagers. Moore met the 17-year-old boy online, another reason for parents to monitor teens’ Internet use.

I have reported on HIV in Nebraska for more than a decade, and I’ve had several friends with HIV and AIDS. A good friend of mine died of an AIDs-related infection in 2002. My best friend died of AIDS-related pneumonia in 2003. I have volunteered at the Nebraska AIDS Project, and I remain an HIV/AIDS advocate. I have met dozens of amazing people through my work with NAP, and none of them would ever consider intentionally passing on the virus to anyone else. Perhaps that is why I find Moore’s actions so infuriating.

What is just as infuriating is Nebraska’s failure to enact a law that would allow authorities to take action against Moore for intentionally infecting the 17-year-old with HIV. Do our lawmakers in this state really have their heads so deep in the sand that they don’t believe HIV is affecting Nebraskans? Did they honestly believe that something like this couldn’t happen here? Are they too busy talking about their precious Huskers to take notice that HIV is alive and spreading in Nebraska, just as everywhere else in the world?

Moore preys on high-school boys. This also renews my anger that the Omaha Public School District enforces an abstinence-only sex education policy. Sex ed teachers cannot discuss safe sex with students. No, they are forced to follow the insane, inane thinking that if you tell kids not to have sex, then they won’t. Combine this with the decline in HIV education over the last decade, and you have a recipe for disaster.

OPS believes it is properly educating teens about sex and HIV, though. I have a friend with AIDS who speaks at area schools. However, even at these events, she is required to discuss abstinence-only prevention in the OPS district. She is not allowed to discuss safe sex practices.

Teenagers are having sex, and they’re having it at younger ages. Perhaps if the 17-year-old with whom Moore had sex had been informed about condoms and safe sex and the risk of HIV, he wouldn’t be living with HIV right now. When is this state going to realize that by failing to educate and inform teenagers, they are putting them in grave danger?

Parents aren’t doing their part in teaching pre-teens and teens about safe sex, and yes, I do believe it is the school’s responsibility. Most teen relationships begin in school, so to me, that makes sex education the school’s business. If parents refuse to teach their children, then someone must. These kids have a right to know the dangers and the ways to protect themselves. Their lives depend on it.

School districts and morons like Sarah Palin demonstrate utter disregard for teens’ lives when they preach abstinence only. You’d think Palin would have learned this lesson when her unmarried 17-year-old daughter got pregnant. But no, she was still on the campaign trail preaching abstinence-only education. What if her daughter had contracted HIV? Would she still be so bullheaded in preaching her outlandish abstinence-only agenda?

Furthermore, Nebraska’s lack of legislation requiring HIV positive people to inform sexual partners of their status reveals how people become lost in believing that this is America’s Heartland. It’s the Heartland! We don’t have to worry about HIV or AIDS. That only happens in the big, bad, ugly cities far away from here. And that again is dangerous, potentially deadly thinking.

States with legislation requiring people to divulge their HIV-positive status don’t use the law very often. The majority of people with HIV are responsible. Sharon Renter, executive director of NAP, told the Omaha World-Herald that she fears such legislation would prevent people from getting tested for HIV. She said the stigma still attached to HIV/AIDS is difficult enough and that such legislation would only increase that stigma.

I strongly disagree. People like Moore must be stopped. Although HIV/AIDS is no longer a death sentence because pharmaceuticals have greatly improved over the last decade, people living with HIV still have reduced life spans. Furthermore, it’s not like you can just pop a pill and feel great. You might have to pop 30 pills a day, and the side effects from HIV drugs are often grueling and wear on the body. And because of the need for a continual flow of new drugs — people become resistant to a drug and must switch to a new one in its place, some strains of HIV are resistant to the current drugs, and some people need to try new drugs because the side effects from their current drugs are severe — the FDA approves HIV drugs quickly, and doctors and researchers don’t know the long-term effects of many of the drugs.

Moreover, HIV drug therapy is outrageously expensive, to the tune of upwards of $400,000 a year for a three-drug cocktail. That doesn’t include doctor’s appointments, either. This poses an enormous problem for people who don’t have health insurance. Without a doctor’s care and HIV drugs, their HIV can rapidly accelerate to AIDS, at which point they cannot work. Then they qualify for Social Security/disability and Medicaid, so they can finally get the proper treatments. However, if they stop taking HIV drugs they risk opportunistic infections and drug resistance. So now you have a group of people who can’t work if they want to stay healthy. I’ve talked to many, many people living with HIV who are in this situation. They want to work. But they can’t in order to stay healthy.

If Renter thinks it’s OK for someone to intentionally inflict this future on another person, then she has no business representing NAP. Has she learned nothing from the people with whom she interacts on a daily basis?

HIV legislation doesn’t make it a crime to have HIV or to have sex if you have HIV. It doesn’t affect people who don’t know they have HIV and unknowingly infect another person. It simply makes it a crime not to tell sexual partners that you have HIV when you know you have the virus. And to me, that seems perfectly fair.

Moore’s story isn’t over yet. Police searched for something to charge him with in the case of the 17-year-old-boy to whom Moore had knowingly transmitted HIV. They found it when they searched Moore’s home and found a videotape of a sexual encounter that included Moore, the 17-year-old and another teen. Because it is illegal to make sex tapes of children under 18, police were able to arrest him and charge him with visual depiction of a minor engaged in a sex act, a felony.

Moore pleaded no contest to the charge, and his sentencing was scheduled for last week. However, when informed at his sentencing that he would be required to register as a sex offender, Moore told the court that wasn’t part of his deal, said he was not advised that he would have to register as a sex offender, and declared that he would never agree to register as a sex offender. Moore’s sentencing is currently delayed so the court can review transcripts from a previous hearing.

01 December 2008

Dumped

After a week of vacation, I am completely unmotivated to work. Freelance is slow so far this month, and while that meshes with how I am feeling, it does not mesh with my bank account. I’m starting to feel really depressed about my job situation. In fact, I feel like I’m going through a breakup.

I was dumped once, and I’ve determined that getting laid off feels a lot like getting dumped. Oh, I’ve been laid off before, but I’ve always had other jobs lined up or I’ve gone back to restaurant work for a quick job. This is the first time I’ve experienced unemployment, even though I’m not truly unemployed because I’m working freelance. Still, I feel unemployed.

Like getting dumped by a lover, getting laid off is rejection — someone doesn’t want you anymore. You really have the same roller coaster of emotions: I’m better off without that loser job. I deserve so much better, and I can find something better. I’m never going to find another job. I’m never going to love any job as much as I loved that job. I’m the loser; no wonder that job didn’t want me. I’m fat. I’m ugly. I just want to stay in bed.

Go to Google Images and search “breakup”; many of the results images depict how I feel after getting laid off. The woman with tears trickling down her cheek, the man sitting on the steps holding his head, the woman biting her knuckles, even the guy sitting with his head on his knees in the middle of a broken heart — that’s how I feel.

Like a breakup, losing a job makes you doubt your self worth and thus can take your self-esteem down a few notches. The current job market will eliminate any self-esteem you may have had left. Between the lack of good jobs and the rejections, I feel like I may never work again. If I ever manage to land another interview, I can’t let myself get excited about it; it will probably end in a rejection letter anyway.

Right before I left for vacation, I found out that XYZ International, the company that eliminated my department and my job in September, posted for the position of vice president of my former department. Apparently J. Ron figured out “what the fuck” the marketing department did and now wants to rebuild the department. I was livid when I discovered this tidbit. What was the point of eliminating our department? What a twat.

I liken the feeling I had when I learned that my department would be rebuilt to finding out that an ex is dating someone new while you are still recovering from the breakup. There is overwhelming hatred for the ex, sadness for what your relationship could have been, and self-loathing for the fact that he or she has moved on and you have not. This is exactly how I feel about XYZ International.

And like a breakup, this situation brings on waves of insecurity and self doubt: What’s wrong with me? Is the new employee smarter than I am, more talented? Does she know what Manager X expects and how Manager Y likes projects handled? Can the new guy write and edit with the same flourish I can? Hrumph. I’ll bet not. Oh, shit … what if the new person actually is better than I am? What if the new girl is more of a grammar geek than I am? What if he can diagram sentences better than I ever could?

These are the thoughts that will keep you awake nights. Well, these and wondering how you’re going to pay your bills. Unlike most breakups, losing your job affects your financial stability. You go from being able to pay your bills and buy cute shoes and Coach handbags to hoping you can pay your bills and putting Christmas gifts on a credit card. (It’s a zero percent interest card, though.) You go from having a company take care of you by paying the majority of your health insurance and providing you with two or three (or four!) weeks of paid vacation to paying $350 a month for health insurance yourself and taking a substantial hit to your income when you go out of town for five days. It’s enough to make you cry as though your heart has been broken by the love of your life.

I really just want to stay in bed all day and feel sorry for myself. Fortunately, I have enough freelance work to force me to get up every day, although my collection of Hanes sweats is growing, as that’s all I wear anymore. If I ever wanted dreadlocks, now would be the time to try the style, as combing my hair seems like so much effort right now.

It’s taken me two years to get over being dumped, and here I am laid off.