Dangerous Dogs or Dangerous Owners?

Omaha’s city council today passed the proposed dangerous dog ordinance, which arose after a series of pit bull attacks in the city. The most notable attack was that on 15-month-old Charlotte Blevins in June, when Blevins was nearly scalped by a pit bull that suddenly attacked her and another child who were on a walk with their mothers. Wendy Blevins, Charlotte’s mother, has been on the news for months speaking out against pit bulls, calling them a dangerous breed of dog.

I’m not much of a dog person unless the dog is no bigger than a large cat. I do love floppy puppies and can’t resist picking them up. I prefer not to be around large, crotch-sniffing dogs, which could easily knock over an adult and maul them. I’m not a fan of medium-size dogs, either — like big dogs, they get that ripe doggy smell that grosses me out. And the drooling. I can’t handle the drooling and the slobbering. If you could eliminate all these unpleasant characteristics of dogs, I would probably adore them like I adore cats. Well, maybe if you didn’t have to walk them in the winter.

You might expect me to be a big proponent of a total ban on pit bulls and other “dangerous” dog breeds. I am not. In fact, I like Omaha’s ordinance, although I don’t agree with the name of it (more on that later). Some, however, like Wendy Blevins, believe the ordinance is too lenient. Blevins and others were hoping for a total ban on “dangerous” dog breeds.

Omaha’s ordinance calls for the following, beginning Jan. 1, 2009:
• All pit bulls that are outdoors and not in a securely fenced yard must be muzzled, harnessed, leashed and under the control of someone 19 years old or older.
• Pit bulls that pass an annual behavioral test administered by the Humane Society and that have no violations are exempt from muzzling. The first year’s test costs $75; subsequent tests cost $50.
• Exempted pit bulls must be sterilized, have an identification microchip and wear a Humane Society-issued “breed ambassador” vest when in public.
• Owners must carry at least $100,000 in liability insurance by the time the dog’s next license is renewed.

I am a true believer that an animal is a product of its environment. Yes, pit bulls and other breeds of dogs have more aggressive tendencies, but if those animals are raised to defy those aggressive tendencies, then I believe they will. My problem is that when lousy owners get their hands on so-called “dangerous” breeds, the animals suffer.

When the Nebraska Humane Society removes a pit bull from a home for any reason — whether the animal has attacked someone or the owner has too many animals in the house — the pit bull is euthanized. If a dog arrives at the Humane Society and is even part pit bull, it is euthanized. In short, the Humane Society wants nothing to do with pit bulls. I’m not sure the Humane Society admits this, but I have this information on good authority from a long-time Humane Society volunteer.

I don’t wish any animal harm, and I like Omaha’s ordinance because it burdens owners more than the animals. It assigns some cost, and therefore some responsibility, to owning one of these dogs, which might make potential owners realize that these dogs do require some extra nurturing. I think if you nurture an animal with a potentially aggressive disposition you can counteract that aggression.

Consider this: Cats are assumed to be very independent animals who dislike being held and dislike being around people. However, if from a young age (6 months or younger) you hold a cat a lot and expose it to people, then the cat will grow up liking to be held and liking to be around people. If you raise a cat with love and don’t abuse it, it won’t hide under the bed when people come around; it will actually come out and visit your guests. I have two excellent examples that prove this is true. In fact, my cats demand more attention than some dogs.

Moreover, according to Robert Ressler, one of the foremost authorities on serial killers, serial killers are made, not born. I interviewed Ressler many years ago when he was at Nebraska Wesleyan University for a presentation during his book tour for I Have Lived in the Monster. Ressler worked for the FBI’s behavioral science unit for more than 20 years, and he worked on all the major serial murderer cases — Gacy, Dahmer, Bundy and many more notorious names — and he actually coined the term “serial killer.”

When I interviewed Ressler, I was certain that people who turn out to be serial killers have some sort of brain or chemical disturbance or something that makes them become a serial killer. Ressler, however, informed me I was completely wrong. Serial killers, he said, are products of their environments. Sure, they may have a little crazy going on, too, but that’s not what makes them serial killers. Physical abuse, severe emotional abuse, sexual abuse and traumatic abuse during childhood are triggers for serial killing.

If nurture has more influence over nature for cats and humans, then doesn’t it make sense that the same would be true for dogs? Assuming it is, a pit bull or rottweiler is only as dangerous as its owner makes it. Likewise, if someone owns a Labrador retriever and subjects the animal to cruelty and abuse, even a normally gentle lab could become a vicious “dangerous” dog. Perhaps Omaha’s ordinance would more appropriately be called the dangerous owner ordinance.

I suppose one must consider why a prospective dog owner seeks a pit bull or rottweiler. It’s certainly not for the cuteness factor (although floppy-eared pit bull puppies are pretty adorable). More often than not it’s for the toughness factor, and that in itself could well be an indicator that the prospective owner might not be fit to own an animal with an aggressive disposition that will require nurturing to subdue aggressive tendencies.

Writer/Editor for Hire

Well, here we are in the midst of a financial and economic crisis, and I’m out of a job. Fuck.

When my boss told me that the company was probably going to eliminate our entire department, that was all I could say. Fuck. Fuckity, fuck, fuck.

Since the current CEO came on board three years ago, my company, XYZ International, has conducted layoffs every September. It boosts his bonus so he can make an extra few million dollars every year. Every August XYZ employees start panicking, wondering whether they’ll have jobs next month. My department was so small that we generally didn’t worry. However, I was laid off from XYZ once before, in 2002, so I tended to be more fearful of layoffs than my co-workers.

Still, we avoided losing anyone for a few years. Then last year, we were forced to lay off a graphic designer, so this year we were pretty confident that we would survive layoffs intact. We had one person doing each job. No redundancy. Which is great until someone decides that the company doesn’t need a marketing department.

So my entire department — from the VP to the part-time employee — made its way to the conference room to meet with human resources at 9 a.m. on Sept. 22. As an example of what is not professional, we were all laid off as a group.

The first time I was laid off, the company’s policy was to give employees a month of severance pay for every year of service. Everything was handled very sympathetically, professionally and compassionately. That has since changed. Now the company gives employees a week of severance pay for every year of service — and partial years don’t count like they used to.

Excuse me, who just bent me over the table and fucked me in the ass?

Unlike some of my co-workers who have 20 years of service with the company, I will have my four-year anniversary of returning to the company (they won’t count my previous time, either, the dirty bastards) in December. For the mathematically challenged, I got three weeks of severance pay. Um, has this company heard that the job market is in the gutter right now? How the hell do they think anyone is going to find a job in three weeks? By the way, the holidays are right around the corner, too, assholes.

Although I was angry and panicked, I couldn’t help feeling better off than my co-worker who has six kids and received four weeks of severance. Thanks, XYZ.

We were also informed that our severance would be paid out in a lump sum, which means the government withholds more than 40 percent of it. That’s just what you need when you’ve been laid off and the job market sucks.

Oh, and our health insurance would end on Sept. 30. Again, thanks, you motherfuckers. If you had a flexible healthcare spending account, you had to use all that money by Sept. 30 or the company would keep it. One of my co-workers had $2,000 in her FSA — and eight days to use it.

Our asses are still sore from all the ways that company raped us.

We certainly weren’t the only people laid off. When XYZ conducts its September layoffs, it makes a sweep through all its offices. About 60 people in Omaha got the ax, as well as people in Boston and other areas. The company’s goal, as stated during its August earnings call, was to eliminate 10 percent of its staff — more than 200 people. However, it stated that those people would be in the product and development areas. Suddenly, it’s eliminated the marketing department and areas everywhere but product and development.

I smell a sale coming up. Who eliminates their marketing department without another plan in place? And if the company is indeed being positioned for sale, I’d be getting laid off at some point anyway. I’d just prefer to have had some inkling of it — like the people who still have jobs do — so I could have been prepared. Maybe be looking for a job while I have a job.

Instead, I’m sitting here chomping on Tums unsuccessfully attempting to soothe the indigestion and acid reflux that I’ve had for days while looking at the jagged stumps that used to be my fingernails. I’m thinking of calling my shrink nurse for some Xanax. I’m up to two packs of cigarettes a day, and my lungs and sinuses are rebelling. And my head hurts.

All I keep thinking is, shit, now what? I’ve been doing freelance work on the side for a long time, so I can take on more of that, but can I get enough of that to pay my mortgage and bills? In fact, I’ve already contacted my editor and I’m keeping really busy with freelance work. When I’m not staring at the ceiling for long stretches of time wondering what the hell I’m going to do in the long term.

I don’t have any debt other than my house, and I’ve been smart with saving money, but for some reason that doesn’t make the situation any less scary.

I’ve checked all the job sites. I’ve even gone to the career pages of individual businesses. There are 14 jobs in my field in Omaha, and I’ve applied for them all. Anyone need a writer or editor?

McCain Picks … Palin?

The more I hear about Sarah Palin, the more I wonder what the fuck John McCain was thinking.

This is the person he’s chosen as his running mate? At first I thought it was a joke. Unfortunately, it’s not. McCain seems to really think Palin has the ability to be his second in command should he win the presidential election.

I laughed when McCain chose Palin because I truly believed that she would be his downfall. I sincerely thought that Republicans across the nation would think McCain had gone senile as they shook their heads and rolled their eyes at her. I mean, I could tell right away that this woman was a brunette bimbo. It was so obvious that she was his attempt to win the Hillary vote and that she is no Hillary Clinton. She reminds me of someone, but it’s certainly not Clinton.

Imagine my utter shock and speechlessness when I discovered that Republicans love her. My brow furrowed. I turned my head so my good ear could hear the radio better because I was certain I’d heard Glenn Beck wrong. Alas, I had heard correctly. Republicans love her. Now all I can do is shrug in disbelief.

Let’s first examine the hypocrisy of McCain’s selection of Palin. McCain’s campaign has criticized Barack Obama’s lack of experience, claiming that Obama is inexperienced and can’t possibly be ready to lead the nation. Yet, McCain turns right around and chooses Palin, someone with even less experience than Obama. I expect those campaign ads about Obama’s lack of experience will stop.

Now let’s look at Palin. What has she really done? Sure, she’s governor of Alaska, a state with 670,000 people — fewer than most large cities. But what has she accomplished? Oh, yes, she was a beauty queen, Miss Wasilla. And she played basketball in high school, where her aggressive style earned her the nickname “Sarah Barracuda.” Have you read about barracudas? They’re ruthless and mean. That’s not the kind of person I want as a vice president.

But enough of that petty nonsense. Let’s talk about real issues. Like the fact that Palin probably demonstrated an abuse of power to have her brother-in-law fired while he was in a messy divorce with her sister. Even if the guy is a pig, and there seems to be evidence he may be, Palin should have stayed out of it. But she didn’t.

OK, standing up for your sister isn’t the worst thing you can do. I do, however, have a real problem with conservative, creationist idiots running this country, and Palin is both. Take your religion and shove it; it doesn’t belong in the government. Ever heard of separation of church and state? I don’t think it needs to get as crazy as changing the “Pledge of Allegiance” to remove any reference to “god,” but keep on legislating according to “god” and I might adopt that viewpoint.

I also have a problem with morons who think it’s unsuitable to teach sex education in schools. I don’t think we should be teaching it to kindergarteners, but anyone who thinks that teaching abstinence only is effective deserves to be sterilized so they can’t procreate and raise other small-minded dullards. Teaching abstinence only doesn’t work.

Kids are having sex, and it is imperative to teach them that if they are going to have to sex, they must be safe. This is critical not only to prevent unwanted pregnancies, but also to protect these young people from STDs and deadly diseases like HIV. Just because a conservative politician’s religious beliefs dictate that premarital sex is wrong doesn’t mean that kids or anyone else agrees. Denying sex education in the schools is not only dangerous, it can be deadly.

And let’s look at how Palin’s teaching of abstinence only has worked out in her own family. Her 17-year old daughter, Bristol, is unmarried and knocked up by her boyfriend. If I were Palin, that would be enough to cause me to re-evaluate my stance on abstinence-only sex education and say, “Hm, maybe that doesn’t work.” But no, Palin is as ardent as ever. That just makes her stupid.

Obviously McCain chose Palin because she’s a woman and he is hoping to win the votes of Hillary Clinton followers. But Palin is no Hillary. (Who is it she reminds me of?) In fact, it seems as though there are deliberate differences between them. Clinton is a mother of one, whereas Palin is a mother of five. Palin is also quick to remind, well, everyone that she gave birth to her youngest son even though he has Down’s Syndrome. What does she want — a medal? She claims she doesn’t believe in abortion, so I would hope she wouldn’t have one just because of some pesky Down’s Syndrome. Now I’m supposed to feel sorry for her because she has this cross to bear? I didn’t knock her up. I don’t see how her Down’s Syndrome son has anything to do with her vice presidential candidacy, except that having a special needs child should make her less qualified because she ought to be spending more time with him.

Another obvious difference between Clinton and Palin is Clinton’s no-nonsense, down-to-business attitude versus Palin’s borderline flirty demeanor with the public and the camera. Obviously Palin and McCain took the public’s criticism of Hillary as “too cold” to heart and are striving to avoid the attachment of such labels to Palin. It’s working — kind of. If you want your vice presidential candidate to be seen as a ditzy floozy.

The most important difference between Clinton and Palin, however, is that Palin has none of the political experience necessary to go anywhere near the White House. She shouldn’t even be allowed inside for a tour. She knows nothing about foreign affairs or policy, she knows nothing about world economics, it’s iffy whether she even understands the U.S. Constitution, and she is so inexperienced that she can’t possibly advise McCain on anything except maybe diaper-changing. Furthermore, some people may find her lax way of speaking “charming,” but it reminds me too much of George W. Bush.

In fact, that’s who she reminds me of. There is a lot about Sarah Palin that reminds me of Bush, and the last thing we need is any more of that nonsense for another four years.